20 Years and Christmas Cheers

      With Christmas just a few days away, my thoughts have lingered on the women and children living at Catherine's House. How do they celebrate Christmas? Do the children wonder if Santa will find them at a strange place? Do the mother's wonder how they will provide a magical experience for their expectant kids?

      As the national news has been filled with tragic stories of the loss of children, I couldn't help but wonder about the children, and their parents, living so close to so many of us. But after talking with Sister Carmelita, my worries were put at ease, as Catherine's House ensures a wonderful Christmas for all; this year especially is filled with celebrations and blessings.

      I have mentioned in previous posts (this one and a picture from this one) that Catherine's House hosted their 20th Anniversary and Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 13th. I was unfortunately unable to attend the festivities, but from what I was told, it was wonderful. Memebers of the community, patrons, and special guests arrived to the beautifully decorated house. Previous resident's spoke of the blessings they received at Catherine's House and the accomplishments they have achieved since leaving. Sister Carmelita spoke to the guests about their mission and services. The President and CEO of Catherine's House helped light up the spectacular tree outside.



Patsy Fuller with the decorated tree
inside the house

      Here are some pictures of the event provided by the Montcross Area Chamber of Commerce which serves more than 340 business members in the area!



President and CEO Stan Patterson with
Sister Carmelita after lighting the tree















Sister Carmelita telling tour groups about the house

      On December 18th, the John Wieland Homes hosted their annual Christmas Dinner. The women and children of Catherine's House attended and were visited by Santa, who brought many gifts for both the mothers and their kids.

      Christmas morning is truly the best though, as the house will be buzzing with the residents opening their many, many gifts provided by the children from Saint Gabriel Catholic School. These children, with their parents, make sure that Catherine's House residents have the best Christmas of their lives. They also provide many household items for the new year. What a wonderful gift!

      Knowing that the resident's will be provided for helped put me at ease, but my thoughts and prayers will continue to be with them. Though I will not be formally blogging about my adventures and time spent in the house, I will continue to serve Catherine's House as needed.  During the Season of Giving, I hope I was able to give a little bit to them, for they certaintly gave me more than I could have imagined - perspective, gratitude, and a desire to assist. I also hope that my recording of some of their stories and experiences has helped shed a light on the needs of many women and children in the community, and ignited a spark to serve in others.

      I have an undying gratitude for Catherine's House- for the services they provide to others and for their welcoming arms letting me into their lives. I am so glad that they will be receiving a magical and blessed Christmas. It just goes to show what a little bit of mercy in life can do for someone.

      Be sure to visit http://catherineshouseinc.org/ to learn more about Catherine's House and how you can help out these wonderful people!

                                                                     God Bless,
                                                                              Megan




http://catherineshouseinc.org/

Working Hard

"I have learned so much!!!!! I have learned how mercy can change lives. I have learned not to take my blessings for granted. I have learned that everyone needs unconditional love."

      Since the summer of 2011, Jacki McCarthy has been employed at Catherine's House as the Developmental Director. I got to work with Jacki when a few of us volunteers stuffed the envelopes and mentioned her then (read that blog post here), but here is a better understanding of what this incredible woman does for Catherine's House!

      In 2009, Jacki worked for a company founded by a woman who once worked at House of Mercy and knew all about the ministries of Catherine's House. Having a tie to the place, their company was hired to create a fundraising plan. Jacki was put on site to begin the plan until Catherine's House was ready to hire a permanent employee to fulfill the job. Having witnessed the lives of many women change during her course of work, Jacki fell in love with the ministry and mission. She was eager and blessed to have the opportunity to help them set up a way for continued financial support.

      The impression that Catherine's House made was so great that Jacki became a full-time employee, taking the job which she helped create.

      Among the many, many tasks Jacki does for the House, she write grants, help coordinate events, write thank you letters, work with a web designer to redesign the website, work on a promotional video, steward donors, create the newsletter, and anything else the job requires.

"I have watched a baby while her mom was making dinner, taken residents to the doctor or to work when there was no other volunteer or staff member to take them. Basically, I focus on fundraising related activities, but we all pitch in when we are needed. We are a small staff but a very dedicated staff, and we all work together to carry out the mission of Catherine’s House."



Jacki on the right at the 20th Celebration and Tree Lighting
Ceremony. December 13th, 2012. Thanks to the Montcross
Area Chamber of Commerce for the photo!

      Though she's always running around with a bundle on her plate, Jacki adores her job. She loves it most when a resident moves out of the house and into a place of their own. When the residents get a job interview. When a resident finds employment and bursts into her office with the good news. When they can celebrate any accomplishment- both big and small. She also loves interviewing prospective and former residents.

"I feel so honored when a resident shares her story with me. The majority of our residents have faced hardships in their lives and I know it must take so much courage to share their story with someone they don’t know very well. They trust me to write their story and it means the world to me. I also love to celebrate where they are now. I love it when a child comes by my office for a hug. That is the absolute best! Often, they start off really shy and it takes courage and trust to give that first hug."

      But with any job, there comes a few hardships. Hearing the resident's stories is wonderful, but it is also very difficult to hear. Most of the residents face or have faced some horrific situations including abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual).  And though Catherine's House isn't a place for women under an immediate threat to domestic violence, the residents almost always have severe trauma or abuse or in their backgrounds from a partner or a family member or both.

"I read that 92% of homeless mothers have experienced sexual abuse. My jaw dropped and our Program Director at the time said she believed that was accurate. That is the worst part – knowing that abuse actually happens and at such a high rate. And seeing how the children are affected by it. Often their mothers do not know the best way to parent because they did not have parents who knew the best way to parent. We offer classes for that which helps, but only if the resident is open to it. It is hard to change behaviors that are so engrained."

      Times can be tough for both the residents and employees of Catherine's House, and yet there remains so much potential, so much hope, so much love. Jacki loves her job, absolutely loves it. On that first day that I met her, surrounded by postal bins, she was incredibly warm and welcoming and worked with a smile on her face. She has seen and heard tremendous stories of hardships and cringe-worthy pasts of the residents, but she has also seen the work that God does through their situations. She has seen growth. And that is what Catherine's House offers- the opporunity to grow in the love of self, others, and God.

"One of our former residents put it best when she said she learned that “If you take one step, God will take ten.”"

                                                             God Bless,
                                                                       Me

Called to Kids

      Last Spring, Stephen and Abbey felt a strong call to serve in the community. They had no reservations as to what, but decided that they should look into needs in the area. After doing some online researh, Catherine's House popped up on the list (To learn more about Catherine's House click here).  After looking into Catherine's House a little more, they both felt their heart strings being tugged at.

"This one touched us both and it really stood out as THE thing we should be doing."

      The couple has been married for about four and a half years now and have spent every Thursday night since March at Catherine's House volunteering as babysitters.  This is the most recent service I was able to attend last week.

     When I got there, I met Stephen and Abbey and headed into the playroom in the House. The mom's were having their budgeting class so babysitting would go from about seven to eight at night. We weren't sure how many kids would come because, as I learned, the number varies every week. Some weeks it is one or two, other weeks it can be up to nine or ten. This past time when I went there were seven kids, ranging from seven months old to thirteen years.

      To be honest, I didn't quite plan to actually babysit with them. I figured I would get in, ask a few questions, and stay out of the way. But as soon as I saw these kids I put my bag down and sat crossed-legged on the carpet and began playing with a noisy lightup truck to entertain one of the babies. I couldn't resist being a part of the fun.

      For the next hour or so, I watched and was thoroughly impressed by Stephen and Abbey. They were able to balance the diverse age range and made time for each kid. They encouraged the kids who had homework to do theirs so that everyone could play together. They held crying babies and played keep away with the boys. Their team work and ease with the kids made me see how they truly were called to Catherine's House.

"It's not always easy," they agreed. "The winter months are much harder because it's dark and we can't go outside with them. When it is warmer, it is so much easier because we can take them outside on the playground for hours and bring popsicles and they can run around and get some energy out. But now, they get really antsy much sooner because this (the playroom) is the only place we can really go, and they see it everyday."

      Regardless of the small space and same toys as always, Stephen and Abbey made good use of the resources, and I like to think I did a good job helping them. I assisted a four year old girl in onesie Dora the Explorer pajamas build a lego tower that would be much taller than her older brothers. I was taught to play Corners, which I was very bad at and kept losing. I held a few sad babies who wanted to be with everyone and everything all at the same time. I listened to an eigth grader sing a Chris Brown song and sing it better than a lot of little girls I know. And the best - I gave life to a stuffed animal dog who's best friend was a caterpillar and together they went to the mall and bought purple shoes. It was great.

      After babysitting was over, I helped Stephen and Abbey clean up the toys and straighten up the room. We were all pretty exhausted but I had an inner joy at playing with these kids, and they felt it too.

"Sometimes we get off work, go home and change, and eat a barely there dinner to come here and there be only one or two kids who have a lot of homework. But even on those nights, we enjoy being here. Sometimes having a bigger group like tonight is great because the kids can play with eachother more. Other times though, it is nice having just one or two, because we can really connect with them and learn about them."

      When leaving for the night, Stephen and Abbey said I was welcome to come back any Thursday I like and help them out. And I think I might just do that.

                                                                           God Bless,
                                                                                    Megan

O Christmas Tree!

On December 13th, Catherine's House will be hosting its 20th Anniversary celebration and annual Tree Lighting Ceremony. 

     Each year, Catherine's House displays a beautiful Christmas Tree in their lobby, decorated with ornaments and twinkly lights. The fourteen women and eleven children living in the House pass by the tree everyday as they exit and enter the House.


Patsy Fuller at a former holiday celebration

      Catherine's House encourages you to purchase a light on the tree to remember that special person (or persons) in your life. Over the years, many people have been honored and rememered in this unique way. It is a beautiful gift to give someone (they are notified of the lights being donated in their name) and also serves as a gift to Catherine's House, as all proceeds go to the up-keep of the ministry and services of the House.

      At the lighting ceremony and celebration, a book will be on display with the names of the persons represented by the lights. The tree will be lit outside of Catherine's House and tours of the facility will be offered to anyone wishing to look inside the decorated house. And you don't have to worry about getting hungry because String Bean Restraunt and Deli will be providing food and beverages.

      Festivities are from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

      Everyone one is welcome to come out and celebrate this opportunity to meet the volunteers, women and children that I've been introducing to you. Though some of the names have been anonyomous, the heart is the same.

      For more information on how to participate in this beautiful Christmas tradition, contact Patsy Fuller, Office Manager, at (704)-825-9599 or patsyfuller@catherineshouseinc.org.

Today is the Day

"Are you here to see my mom????," asked an enthusiastic little blonde boy who ran up to me as soon as I walked in the doors to Catherine's House. I wasn't sure who the boy was, but I replied that I was.  "OK!" he squealed and ran off down the hallway at a speed only little kids can reach.

      Before Thanksgiving break, I has the opportunity to interview another resident of Catherine's House. It WAS the boy's mother, thank goodness.  I'll call her Nan, and this is her story:

      For three years and two months, Nan lost her drivers license. DUI after DUI left her without a way to get to work. To make it to her job, she either had to call a taxi or find a ride off Craig's List.  But because there was no stability in a ride, there was no stability in a job.  She worked wherever she could including cleaning, restaraunts and convenience stores.  Even further, Nan had no way to take her son out when he came to visit, or pick him up from school, or visit him at his dad's house.  To be closer to her son, she moved to Belmont in order to be walking distance from him.

      When she was finally eligible to get her driver's license back, she could not afford it. Nor could she afford rent. She relied on different assistances in Belmont for rent money, but it was still too tight. One day, the place suggested she look into Catherine's House for information, they might be able to help further. Nan walked to Catherine's House and next thing she knew, she used whatever money she had to pack up her things and move.

"It could have been anything that brought me here. If not alcohol, it could have been something else. I had no forgiveness for myself. I had a lot of 'What If's?' But now there is a change in me. The lights are coming on."

      Nan has received all sorts of help since moving into Catherine's House. She has recieved a newfound sense of safety and security, two things which she had not felt for a long time. She has learned skills essential to daily living such as better communication and listening.  And most importantly, learning to save money and being aware and focused on the day to day choices she makes. Whether big decisions or small ones, Nan puts much more thought into her actions. Through talking one on one with Sister Carmelita, Sister Caroline, and the other volunteers and employees, Nan has been exposed to and learned to be open to new relationships with people.

"I just really try and stay focused. I don't worry about tomorrow or next week or next month and certainly not next year. I try to stay in the present moment and be the best I can be today and use my gifts today"

      Now, Nan is working. She has a car. She is socially engaged. Her son, the little blondie I met, stays with her a few days a week; that seemed to be the biggest blessing she has received. When I asked her what he favorite part is, she said "Having a safe place for my son to be with me. He is a very sociable child and now I can take him out and not worry about when the next time I'll see him is."

"You can't take it for granted. You have to recognize your accountability here. It is a big deal living with fourteen other women. Sometimes it can be very difficult, but I am learning that God is teaching me through others. Certain people get placed in your life for a reason and we need to love them and listen to them because you have no idea the impact you could have on their life, or they could have on yours"

      Though focusing on the present moment, Nan does have a strong sense what she wants in life.  Living at Catherine's House has really taught her to be aware not only of her own choices, but also of the people around her. She wants to be able to help women in need, and support them in the ways which she has been helped.

"The first step is forgiveness. I wouldn't allow myself to forgive the past, and I don't think most women do. I was afraid and fearful and I let no one in.  I thought everyone around me was judging me, because I was judging myself.  I want to be the help for others that I have gotten here."

      Nan has now been two years sober! That is HUGE and I made sure to tell her so. What she didn't know in the past was that alcohol is a depressant, therefore, people who are depressed shouldn't drink.  Society doesn't look at alcohol like it should, and Nan firmly believes that as a daughter of alcoholics, she was genetically prone to the addiction. She has done a lot of research on alcoholism and wishes that more people know what she didn't about drinking in excess. She still attends regular AA and is constantly learning new things about her life outside of the addiction. She is not just an alcoholic, she is a woman, a mother, a child of God.

"I know now that I need to call God into the picture. I'm less worried about things since I've been here. I can handle life again, I can feel. I WANT to be in the world again. I want to build relationships with myself and others and God."

      Nan would eventually love to get her two year college degree. She wants to be a professional and work/improve on the skills she has already has. She wants to use the gifts God has given her to the fullest she can.

"I am not even near what I know my potential is. But you know what they always say: trust God, clean house, love others."

      One of Nan's concerns at the end of the interview was the fact that she has lived in this area her whole life and had never even heard of Catherine's House before it was suggested. It is scary to her that so many women out there have no idea that this haven is right around the corner. Yes, no one wants to have to pack up an move, but when you know you need to, you know you need to. She wants more women to know that a place for them does exist in the world; and that place is a lot closer than they may think.

                                                                        God Bless,
                                                                                  Megan

Give a Little Bit

Volunteering at Catherine's House includes a little bit of everything, including stuffing envelopes!  (Check out their new web page at catherineshouseinc.org!)

      About two weeks ago on a friday, Sister Carmelita called me up and asked if I could come in for a few hours because they were running short on volunteers.  I agreed immediately and grabbed my bag, not sure about what they would have me doing, but eager to help.

      When I got there, I saw a few boxes filled with papers and was given my task.  They needed help with folding the forms for donations to be sent out to all benefactors, newsletter subsribers, and past donators.  And I'll say, when I saw the massive pile, I knew why Sister called!


My fellow folding volunteers!

      Already working at the table was a young man who graduated high school last may and has come in a few times before as a volunteer at Catherine's House. He had a fast process for folding the two sheets together and quickly taught me and another woman who arrived at the same time I did.  The woman volunteer has been involved with Catherine's House for a few years now, and a few days a week she works in the reception during the day.

     For the next hour or so we worked diligently and actually had a fun time doing it.  My fellow folders were extremely friendly and talkative and we got along great. We were later joined by another volunteer who has been involved since the summer.  We showed her the ropes of folding and the four of us talked and laughed and somehow avoided any papercuts!
 


Jackie sorting out the
dreaded postal bins!

     
     Surprisingly, it didn't take us too long to get all the folding  done.  We were all pretty impressed with the rapid and smooth job we did.  And then came the envelopes. Because it was a mass mailing, all the envelopes were already stamped and addressed, but in order to comply with the post office rules, all bundles HAD to be kept together, or else. 

     

     When these instructions were given by Jackie, who was coordinating the project and serves as the Developmental Director at Catherine's House, the four of us were a little nervous about potentially messing it up but we sat with determination and split up to get the job done faster. 

      

      We didn't finish, as by this time it was early afternoon and myself and the first woman had to leave, but we got a lot done.

      The reason for sharing all of this is not all about the comraderie of volunteering, but about what we were folding and sending. 
   
      Catherine's House can always use donations. Always.  They rely heavily on the donations and benevolence of anyone willing to help.  From groceries to finances to even donating time, like myself and the others did. With the Season of Giving rapidly approaching, consider Catherine's House if you are looking to donate somewhere. 

      Here is a wishlist posted on their website for good they especially need. Or, if you are interested in a financial donation, click here.  If you are more capable of giving your time instead, fill out the online volunteer form here.

      If nothing else, give a little bit of your prayer time to the continued blessings, graces, good works, and success of Catherine's House; it is the most priceless and welcomed gift possible.

                                                                  God Bless,
                                                                            Megan

Safe at Home

"Start with this. I want to make sure people know...I am a such a skeptical, dark person.  I question everything. I don't trust anyone. Ever. When I walked into Catherine's House, something was different. I felt a peace come all over my body.  I woke up that first morning and didn't question one thing. I knew I was right where I needed to be"

      After talking with Lynn about her job as night manager (Lynn's Story), I was introduced to LP, a resident of Catherine's House since October 28th, 2012.  She has only been there for a few short weeks and already has gotten more help and love and respect than in her entire life.  Here is her story; I will try to retell it with as much zeal and thankfulness as she expressed.

      In 1987, LP was diagnosed with major depression with psychiatric traits. Back then, no one understoood or even wanted to acknowledge mental illness as something needing attention.  Her family was very "white collar" and had no intention of exposing their daughter's "problems."  She attended the best private school in her hometown and was very popular.  She had a lot of friends and was very involved.

      During one of the summer vacations, LP became extremely paranoid about everything.  She questioned everything around her. Everyone, she felt, was judging and talking about her. Their opinions were constantly surrounding her and she didn't trust anyone.  She was treated and hospitalized for a while to help with her paranoia.

"I went from being homecoming queen to hospitalization. It was humiliating but I had no other choice...no one wants to be in my position."

      Her parents continued to refuse to believe the severity of her condition, believing that mental illness is something the individual can control. Pushed by her parents, LP went to college and eventually earned her masters. She worked hard and got a good job, because what else was there for her to do? After 9/11, she moved to Germany with an incredible job and lived there for five years.  But her depression and paranoia became too much in the work field.

"When you have paranoia, everything is a definite. You don't worry that someone might be judging you, you KNOW they are. You don't think its might be happening, you are SURE it is."

      When she moved back to the United States, LP eventually met her husband and had a daughter. But once again, her mental illness became too much of a strain and they were eventually divorced. LP knew that God was calling her to face her issues and get some help.  She checked into a facility for treatment, and it was the worst experience of her life. 

"Did they tell you that I am ninety percent deaf in one ear and about sixty in the other? Well the place I went didn't believe me.  They thought I was faking it for attention.  They would force me in loud, high-pitched situations because no one believed. They wouldn't even test me to be sure.  That among many things literally made it the worse experience of my life.  It is incredibly tragic to me that from 1987 to 2012 I wasn't getting the help I needed."

      By the grace of God, someone mentioned to LP she might want to check out Catherine's House.  Within hourse, she made a call and was soon admitted into Catherine's House.  As she said at the beginning, she has never felt such peace as in Catherine's House. 

"On the first day, Sister Carmelita looked at me point blank and said 'You are OK'. She didn't say it like I needed to be pitied or caressed. She said it like it was the most absolute truth in the world.  And I believed her, amazingly. Sister Caroline told me this is where I need to be. I will get the help I need.  Again,  I wasn't for one instant skeptical."

      LP said that she has never been to a place so saturated in truth. Catherine's House takes care of business and has given her the tools to be better.  She would bend over backwards and do anything, anything for Sister Carmelita or Sister Caroline if they asked. She would drop everything for them, and she has only been there since the end of October!

"This place is a major gift from God.  I've been all over the world. I know good from bad. I've seen the worst of the worst treatment. But I don't worry here. It is normal and honest and straightforward.  They don't trick you or lie to you.  If there was a place like this everywhere, there would be no problems in the world."

      Her favorite part of Catherine's House is how they treat her daughter who visits four days a week.  When LP asked her daughter what she loves about Catherine's House, she automatically answered "Sister Carmelita!"

       Acknowledging the road ahead of her, LP said that someone really has to have hit rock bottom and has to want help if they are to get better. The people at Catherine's House have challenged her and searched her heart in ways that are sometimes very difficult to face. But her desire to get better has led her to trust the people who want to help her.

"If you are interested in changing, for things to happen, Catherine's House puts you on a path where you realize you are SAFE, you CAN, and you are LOVED. This place...this place is the best place ever."

                                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                                     Megan