Today is the Day

"Are you here to see my mom????," asked an enthusiastic little blonde boy who ran up to me as soon as I walked in the doors to Catherine's House. I wasn't sure who the boy was, but I replied that I was.  "OK!" he squealed and ran off down the hallway at a speed only little kids can reach.

      Before Thanksgiving break, I has the opportunity to interview another resident of Catherine's House. It WAS the boy's mother, thank goodness.  I'll call her Nan, and this is her story:

      For three years and two months, Nan lost her drivers license. DUI after DUI left her without a way to get to work. To make it to her job, she either had to call a taxi or find a ride off Craig's List.  But because there was no stability in a ride, there was no stability in a job.  She worked wherever she could including cleaning, restaraunts and convenience stores.  Even further, Nan had no way to take her son out when he came to visit, or pick him up from school, or visit him at his dad's house.  To be closer to her son, she moved to Belmont in order to be walking distance from him.

      When she was finally eligible to get her driver's license back, she could not afford it. Nor could she afford rent. She relied on different assistances in Belmont for rent money, but it was still too tight. One day, the place suggested she look into Catherine's House for information, they might be able to help further. Nan walked to Catherine's House and next thing she knew, she used whatever money she had to pack up her things and move.

"It could have been anything that brought me here. If not alcohol, it could have been something else. I had no forgiveness for myself. I had a lot of 'What If's?' But now there is a change in me. The lights are coming on."

      Nan has received all sorts of help since moving into Catherine's House. She has recieved a newfound sense of safety and security, two things which she had not felt for a long time. She has learned skills essential to daily living such as better communication and listening.  And most importantly, learning to save money and being aware and focused on the day to day choices she makes. Whether big decisions or small ones, Nan puts much more thought into her actions. Through talking one on one with Sister Carmelita, Sister Caroline, and the other volunteers and employees, Nan has been exposed to and learned to be open to new relationships with people.

"I just really try and stay focused. I don't worry about tomorrow or next week or next month and certainly not next year. I try to stay in the present moment and be the best I can be today and use my gifts today"

      Now, Nan is working. She has a car. She is socially engaged. Her son, the little blondie I met, stays with her a few days a week; that seemed to be the biggest blessing she has received. When I asked her what he favorite part is, she said "Having a safe place for my son to be with me. He is a very sociable child and now I can take him out and not worry about when the next time I'll see him is."

"You can't take it for granted. You have to recognize your accountability here. It is a big deal living with fourteen other women. Sometimes it can be very difficult, but I am learning that God is teaching me through others. Certain people get placed in your life for a reason and we need to love them and listen to them because you have no idea the impact you could have on their life, or they could have on yours"

      Though focusing on the present moment, Nan does have a strong sense what she wants in life.  Living at Catherine's House has really taught her to be aware not only of her own choices, but also of the people around her. She wants to be able to help women in need, and support them in the ways which she has been helped.

"The first step is forgiveness. I wouldn't allow myself to forgive the past, and I don't think most women do. I was afraid and fearful and I let no one in.  I thought everyone around me was judging me, because I was judging myself.  I want to be the help for others that I have gotten here."

      Nan has now been two years sober! That is HUGE and I made sure to tell her so. What she didn't know in the past was that alcohol is a depressant, therefore, people who are depressed shouldn't drink.  Society doesn't look at alcohol like it should, and Nan firmly believes that as a daughter of alcoholics, she was genetically prone to the addiction. She has done a lot of research on alcoholism and wishes that more people know what she didn't about drinking in excess. She still attends regular AA and is constantly learning new things about her life outside of the addiction. She is not just an alcoholic, she is a woman, a mother, a child of God.

"I know now that I need to call God into the picture. I'm less worried about things since I've been here. I can handle life again, I can feel. I WANT to be in the world again. I want to build relationships with myself and others and God."

      Nan would eventually love to get her two year college degree. She wants to be a professional and work/improve on the skills she has already has. She wants to use the gifts God has given her to the fullest she can.

"I am not even near what I know my potential is. But you know what they always say: trust God, clean house, love others."

      One of Nan's concerns at the end of the interview was the fact that she has lived in this area her whole life and had never even heard of Catherine's House before it was suggested. It is scary to her that so many women out there have no idea that this haven is right around the corner. Yes, no one wants to have to pack up an move, but when you know you need to, you know you need to. She wants more women to know that a place for them does exist in the world; and that place is a lot closer than they may think.

                                                                        God Bless,
                                                                                  Megan

Give a Little Bit

Volunteering at Catherine's House includes a little bit of everything, including stuffing envelopes!  (Check out their new web page at catherineshouseinc.org!)

      About two weeks ago on a friday, Sister Carmelita called me up and asked if I could come in for a few hours because they were running short on volunteers.  I agreed immediately and grabbed my bag, not sure about what they would have me doing, but eager to help.

      When I got there, I saw a few boxes filled with papers and was given my task.  They needed help with folding the forms for donations to be sent out to all benefactors, newsletter subsribers, and past donators.  And I'll say, when I saw the massive pile, I knew why Sister called!


My fellow folding volunteers!

      Already working at the table was a young man who graduated high school last may and has come in a few times before as a volunteer at Catherine's House. He had a fast process for folding the two sheets together and quickly taught me and another woman who arrived at the same time I did.  The woman volunteer has been involved with Catherine's House for a few years now, and a few days a week she works in the reception during the day.

     For the next hour or so we worked diligently and actually had a fun time doing it.  My fellow folders were extremely friendly and talkative and we got along great. We were later joined by another volunteer who has been involved since the summer.  We showed her the ropes of folding and the four of us talked and laughed and somehow avoided any papercuts!
 


Jackie sorting out the
dreaded postal bins!

     
     Surprisingly, it didn't take us too long to get all the folding  done.  We were all pretty impressed with the rapid and smooth job we did.  And then came the envelopes. Because it was a mass mailing, all the envelopes were already stamped and addressed, but in order to comply with the post office rules, all bundles HAD to be kept together, or else. 

     

     When these instructions were given by Jackie, who was coordinating the project and serves as the Developmental Director at Catherine's House, the four of us were a little nervous about potentially messing it up but we sat with determination and split up to get the job done faster. 

      

      We didn't finish, as by this time it was early afternoon and myself and the first woman had to leave, but we got a lot done.

      The reason for sharing all of this is not all about the comraderie of volunteering, but about what we were folding and sending. 
   
      Catherine's House can always use donations. Always.  They rely heavily on the donations and benevolence of anyone willing to help.  From groceries to finances to even donating time, like myself and the others did. With the Season of Giving rapidly approaching, consider Catherine's House if you are looking to donate somewhere. 

      Here is a wishlist posted on their website for good they especially need. Or, if you are interested in a financial donation, click here.  If you are more capable of giving your time instead, fill out the online volunteer form here.

      If nothing else, give a little bit of your prayer time to the continued blessings, graces, good works, and success of Catherine's House; it is the most priceless and welcomed gift possible.

                                                                  God Bless,
                                                                            Megan

Safe at Home

"Start with this. I want to make sure people know...I am a such a skeptical, dark person.  I question everything. I don't trust anyone. Ever. When I walked into Catherine's House, something was different. I felt a peace come all over my body.  I woke up that first morning and didn't question one thing. I knew I was right where I needed to be"

      After talking with Lynn about her job as night manager (Lynn's Story), I was introduced to LP, a resident of Catherine's House since October 28th, 2012.  She has only been there for a few short weeks and already has gotten more help and love and respect than in her entire life.  Here is her story; I will try to retell it with as much zeal and thankfulness as she expressed.

      In 1987, LP was diagnosed with major depression with psychiatric traits. Back then, no one understoood or even wanted to acknowledge mental illness as something needing attention.  Her family was very "white collar" and had no intention of exposing their daughter's "problems."  She attended the best private school in her hometown and was very popular.  She had a lot of friends and was very involved.

      During one of the summer vacations, LP became extremely paranoid about everything.  She questioned everything around her. Everyone, she felt, was judging and talking about her. Their opinions were constantly surrounding her and she didn't trust anyone.  She was treated and hospitalized for a while to help with her paranoia.

"I went from being homecoming queen to hospitalization. It was humiliating but I had no other choice...no one wants to be in my position."

      Her parents continued to refuse to believe the severity of her condition, believing that mental illness is something the individual can control. Pushed by her parents, LP went to college and eventually earned her masters. She worked hard and got a good job, because what else was there for her to do? After 9/11, she moved to Germany with an incredible job and lived there for five years.  But her depression and paranoia became too much in the work field.

"When you have paranoia, everything is a definite. You don't worry that someone might be judging you, you KNOW they are. You don't think its might be happening, you are SURE it is."

      When she moved back to the United States, LP eventually met her husband and had a daughter. But once again, her mental illness became too much of a strain and they were eventually divorced. LP knew that God was calling her to face her issues and get some help.  She checked into a facility for treatment, and it was the worst experience of her life. 

"Did they tell you that I am ninety percent deaf in one ear and about sixty in the other? Well the place I went didn't believe me.  They thought I was faking it for attention.  They would force me in loud, high-pitched situations because no one believed. They wouldn't even test me to be sure.  That among many things literally made it the worse experience of my life.  It is incredibly tragic to me that from 1987 to 2012 I wasn't getting the help I needed."

      By the grace of God, someone mentioned to LP she might want to check out Catherine's House.  Within hourse, she made a call and was soon admitted into Catherine's House.  As she said at the beginning, she has never felt such peace as in Catherine's House. 

"On the first day, Sister Carmelita looked at me point blank and said 'You are OK'. She didn't say it like I needed to be pitied or caressed. She said it like it was the most absolute truth in the world.  And I believed her, amazingly. Sister Caroline told me this is where I need to be. I will get the help I need.  Again,  I wasn't for one instant skeptical."

      LP said that she has never been to a place so saturated in truth. Catherine's House takes care of business and has given her the tools to be better.  She would bend over backwards and do anything, anything for Sister Carmelita or Sister Caroline if they asked. She would drop everything for them, and she has only been there since the end of October!

"This place is a major gift from God.  I've been all over the world. I know good from bad. I've seen the worst of the worst treatment. But I don't worry here. It is normal and honest and straightforward.  They don't trick you or lie to you.  If there was a place like this everywhere, there would be no problems in the world."

      Her favorite part of Catherine's House is how they treat her daughter who visits four days a week.  When LP asked her daughter what she loves about Catherine's House, she automatically answered "Sister Carmelita!"

       Acknowledging the road ahead of her, LP said that someone really has to have hit rock bottom and has to want help if they are to get better. The people at Catherine's House have challenged her and searched her heart in ways that are sometimes very difficult to face. But her desire to get better has led her to trust the people who want to help her.

"If you are interested in changing, for things to happen, Catherine's House puts you on a path where you realize you are SAFE, you CAN, and you are LOVED. This place...this place is the best place ever."

                                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                                     Megan

Mother of the Night

"I am here for a reason.  I wasn't blessed with children of my own, and now I know why.  All these children are my babies. I love them like my own"

      The other day while waiting to interview a resident of Catherine's House, I was fortunate enough to get a quick and impromptu interview with Lynn, the Night Shift Manager. (For more information on Catherine's House, click here)

      After working there for years, Catherine's House has become a home away from home for Lynn.  She had a ton of stories that pulled at my heart strings as I sat and listened to her.  Her heart is in Catherine's House, but more importantly, in the women and children who live there.

      From 5pm-8am, Lynn stays in the house and attends to any needs or problems that may arise.  If something comes up, she is there, ready to help.  She is good to them and loves them unconditionally.  Just by her voice alone, I could feel the love that Lynn has for every single person that walks through that door.

"Sometimes it is hard though. I do a lot of praying and asking God's will for their lives.  Sometimes I cannot do enough for them.  Sometimes I get tired. But I don't mind," reflected Lynn.

      Lynn has established something precious in the house: mutual respect and love among herself and the residents. She believes in honesty and doesn't put up with drama or fighting. She is straightforward with the women and let's them know that she will love them and help them, as long as they respect her too.  Because of her compassionate and honest way of running the house at night, Lynn has gained the trust of the women.  She encourages them to talk to her first if there is a problem, and the issue doesn't expand past her door.

"Most of the time, when they ask me to take care of a problem, I take care of it so they don't even realize it's been taken care of."

      It is important for her to establish this kind of relationship with the women, but the children are her number one priority. The children capture her heart and she doesn't want them affected by any bad situation.  She wants Catherine's House to be a good memory, and she works hard to make sure of that. The children also know where Lynn stands.  She tells them straightforward that she wants honesty and respect and she will give them the same. 

"All children are innocent. There was one little boy who moved in with his mom and on their first night here, I went in to check on them. The boy looks at me and asks, 'Who is in charge here?' and I looked at him and said, 'God is'.  Do you want to know what he said? 'Figures. He's in charge of everything'" said Lynn.  She has a picture of that boy sitting above her desk with his quote written out next to it.

      But interacting with them so much is also challenging.  She said the hardest part about her job is when they leave.  There was one little baby girl in the house whom Lynn gave a doll to. The baby slept with the doll every single night.  On days when there was a lot of problems in the house or the tension was high, Lynn would hold the baby and she would immediately feel peace. All the drama of the day didn't seem important any more and the baby was always able to bring a smile. When the mother and baby girl left, Lynn held her tight before saying goodbye, and felt like she giving up her own child.

"I try and make sure the ladies in the house don't see me get emotion. I do that on my time. But that night, after they walked out the door, the house saw me feel for the first time."

      Just two weeks ago, the mother brought the little girl by to see Lynn.  As soon as they entered the house, the now one year old girl ran to Lynn in recognition and smiles. That in and of itself was a bigger blessing than Lynn could have asked for.  The fact that the little girl still remembered her was just another of many reminders why she was called to work at Catherine's House. But it is still hard, she said. She never wants to feel as if she is giving up a child again, but they are so precious, that sometimes it cannot be helped.

"I do what I can for the women and children here. I want to see them succeed. I want to see them do well. I one can make, I am blessed. If just one makes it, it is a gift from God"

      Check in soon for my first interview with one of the resident's of Catherine's House and remember to keep these women, children, and Lynn in your prayers!

                                                                            God Bless,
                                                                                     Megan

Personal to Practical

Meet Lauren.  As the current intern at Catherine's House, she has the opportunity to both give and receive through her work with the women and children in residence.

      Lauren is a graduate school student at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte.  Working for her masters in Social Work, she is required to perform two years of service at two different locations in order to gain experience in the field.  The process to do so is regulated by the school and geared towards individual preference of placement.

      Interested in working with women, Lauren was given a narrow list of six potential places for her internship.  She had to label her top choices and Catherine's House immediately caught her eye.

"I thought it would be a really cool place to be.  When I called to inquire about the internship, they said 'We might be able to use one of those around here'" said Lauren.

      Even though she is at the House only two days a week, those days are packed.  I was in awe at the amount of responsibilites she has been given. Her tasks include a research study, program evaluation and intitial screenings and second interviews with potential residents. And, of course, the Children's Program which I mentioned in the last post (To read the last post, click here).

      Her efforts in the Children's Program is truly admirable.  It used to be offered a few years ago, but the modified program has only run for about a month now. Given the demographics of the children in residence (the majority are over ten years old), Lauren had to rethink the entire program.  This is where her personal gifts have created, literally, a world of difference.

      During her undergraduate years at Appalacian State, Lauren acquired a minor in art. She finds art therapy to be particularly interesting and has put those skills to use.  For the past few weeks, the kids have been doing different art projects (like the clay moldings) to help get their creative juices flowing while simultaneously learning more about themselves.

      For example, two weeks ago the kids did a timeline of their present and past.  Using pictures and words cut out from magzines and drawings, they glued down all the moments of impact in their lives.  When they were born, when their favorite moment was, when they moved into Catherine's House, etc. Then last week, they did a timeline of their future. Lauren presented questions like: What do you want to be when you grow up? Where do you want to live? How are you going to achieve those goals? After the timelines were finished, she had them look at both timelines to see the good and the bad in the past.  But more importantly, to see that the past is separate to who they want to be and to put them in control of their future.

      How great is that? For children who have been through much more than I can imagine, showing them the possibilites of a bright future is unequivocal. 

"Seeing their creativity, even though they don't think they have any, is one of the best parts of my job.  Seeing them proud of what they have created...well...it's a good feeling," said Lauren.

      If you would like to learn more about Art Therapy click here. I think it is absolutely brilliant of Lauren to apply some of these skills when working with the girls, and she is certainly putting God's gifts to the highest use possible.

                                                                    God Bless,
                                                                            Megan

Playing with Clay

On a lovely Thursday afternoon, I got the opportunity to sit in on the Children Programming hour at Catherine's House which is one of the many services provided for the children living there.

      I wasn't sure what to expect going in to the House yesterday.  It was my first time and my nerves we definitely active. I knew I would be attending the Children Programming, but I had no idea what that meant beforehand. Sister Carmelita, who I mentioned before is the volunteer coordinator, let me in and introduced me to their intern Laura.

      Laura does multiple tasks as an intern for Catherine's House, including program evaluations, initial screenings and interviews with potential residents, and leading the Children's Program. (Learn more about Catherine's House here.  Learn more about the Diocese of Charlotte here).

      The program hosted two girls, both residents of Catherine's House with their mothers.  At 4:30 their moms came and signed them in and returned at 5:30 to pick them up.  The girls were fifteen and eleven years old.  Within that hour, Laura had an artsy activity planned for the girls to help them use their hands for creative expression. 

      The activity: clay molding.  Laura had packages of different colored molding clay and wrote a sign with questions to prompt the girls with ideas for their art project. 

Some questions were:

• What is something you would like us to know about you?
• What do you like to do?  What do you care about?
• Where is your favorite place to go? Where do you feel safe?
• What makes you feel happy? What do you love?
• What is something you like about yourself/your family?

      Let me just say, I thoroughly enjoyed watching these girls try and think of something to create out of the clay.  The eleven year old girl made a smiley face, lady bug, a large J, herself and a snail.  Laura helped her think of two really special things to make and she thought of a shoe and a house.  The shoe stood for something she likes about her family.  Her brother used to pick her up from school and they would walk home together and talk about their days.  The shoe represents their walks.  She also made a small house representing her house in Arizona where they moved here from.  At the end of the hour, she was so happy about all her clay creations.

      The fifteen year old girl made less creations, but put more thought into them.  She made a basketball, a flower and a flipflop.  For her two special things, she choose an eye, which is her favorite thing about herself, and a house representing her grandmother's house.  While each girl made the objects of their choice, they talked about different things they like to do. Both girls really enjoy being outside and being active.  The fifteen year old is on the basketball team and is usually unable to make the Children Program because of practice. The eleven year old girl really likes swimming and insects; she laughed at my responsive squeal! 

      It was a an incredibly relaxing and fun hour of playing with clay.  Laura did an incredible job asking the girls questions to stimulate their creative juices and get them thinking about themselves in a different way.  The program is every thursday afternoon and hopefully I will get a chance to spend it with these charming and funny young ladies. 

      Stay tuned for my interview with the intern Laura and pictures of the girls' creations!

                                                                       God Bless,
                                                                                Megan

Mercy House

Catherine's House: 20 years later, still following in the footsteps of Mercy Sister foundress Catherine McAuley

 In 1840, Sister Catherine McAuley wrote :
                 "Some joyful circumstance will soon prove that God is watching over your concerns, which are all His own, but without the Cross the real Crown cannot come. Some great things which He designs to accomplish would have been too much without a little bitter in the cup. Bless and love the fatherly hand which has hurt you. He will soon come with both hands filled with favors and blessings."

       Catherine McAuley (the foundress of the Sister of Mercy) was born in Dublin, Ireland, in 1778. She was soon orphaned and invited to live in the house of Mr. and Mrs. Callaghan as a companion to Mrs. Callaghan. Before their deaths, Catherine was asked what she wanted to do with her life. Her reply: "Get a house for women and children who need a home." In their will, the Callaghans left their money and entire estate to the young woman. She began fulfilling her dream by building a house for religious, educational, and social services for women and children in need. Thanks to the help of interested volunteers, the house was opened on Sept. 24, 1827, the Feast of Our Lady of Mercy. Catherine named the house after this feast.

      It was the first step of her lifelong vocation to help others in need. In 1831, Catherine and two other lay volunteers founded a religious congregation – the Sisters of Mercy – to more formally organize their efforts.   (Learn more about the Sisters of Mercy here. Read about their history in Belmont and the Diocese of Charlotte here.)

      Now fast forward 160 years.

      In 1991, another orphaned young woman followed her desire to help others. As a graduate of the former Sacred Heart College in Belmont and a social worker, Hester Tribble approached the Sisters of Mercy (who ran the school) and requested the use of an empty building on the grounds of the campus. Her wish was granted and with the help of the Mercy Sisters, began her work with homeless women and children – providing transitional housing and individualized assistance to help them rebuild their lives. The Sisters of Mercy soon adopted the program and renamed the building Catherine's House, in honor of their foundress.

      On Nov. 2, 1992, Catherine's House was officially established as a ministry of the Sisters of Mercy. Since then, Catherine's House has helped more than two thousand women and children.
(Learn more about Catherine's House here.)

      Now, 20 years later, I will be crossing the threshold of this special house. As an intern for the Catholic News Herald, I will be volunteering, observing and meeting with some of these lovely women and children to obtain a deeper understanding of the good works done at Catherine's House, which follow the example of Sister Catherine McAuley.

      I am inspired by the history and mission of Catherine's House. To be honest, I really didn't know much about this ministry before recently. But after some online research and meeting with Sister Carmelita Hagan (head of the volunteer program), I knew I wanted to have a personal experience with all the beautiful work that goes on there.  Through this blog and in the pages of the Catholic News Herald, I will be sharing the story of Catherine's House with you.

      Every week this fall, I will be welcomed into different aspects of some of the services Catherine's House provide – such as babysitting, nutrition classes, budgeting lessons, cleaning and group therapy. Several times a week, I will post here about my personal experiences with these wonderful people as well as some of their stories. (Of course, to maintain the integrity of Catherine's House and privacy of its residents, names and personal information will be withheld.)

      Sister Catherine McAuley's quote at the beginning of this post really strikes me as the heart of the mission of Catherine's House. The Lord pours many blessings on His children, but without the occasional "bitterness," we wouldn't appreciate and recognize His love in the same way.

      Sister Catherine McAuley's dream was to help women through their difficulties and put them on the path to self-sufficiency, dignity and success. She gave them the tools needed to make the best out of their particular situations and to see the silver lining in even the darkest cloud. Catherine's House continues this mission and I could not be more thrilled to be able to share it with you.

      Stay tuned for the first post of my time spent in Catherine's House and the journeys of the women I meet along the way.

God bless,

                                                                     Megan Barnes